


Aldnoah.One

by Odium Dei (Odium)



Series: Aldnoah.Redemption [1]
Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-07
Updated: 2016-11-20
Packaged: 2018-04-30 11:59:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5163035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Odium/pseuds/Odium%20Dei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Slaine is full of bitterness, but he will be redeemed - at least if the Administrator has anything to say about it. Aldnoah.Zero didn't work out well for him, but what about the next Aldnoah? Will Slaine redeem himself, and will he learn to love another with all his heart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue: A Forsaken World

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Aldnoah.Zero. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy this. The idea popped into my head, and I needed to write it, so I did.

Prologue:

 

Slaine knew that he would spend the rest of his life in the prison, where that accursed Inaho Kaizuka had locked him up in. No one would save him, not even Princess - no, she was Empress now, he supposed - Asseylum.

 

He clenched his fists, knowing that the bitterness would consume him yet again. Never had he imagined that Asseylum would betray him like this - but wasn’t he the one who betrayed her in the first place, by attempting to conquer Earth? Slaine scratched down the length of his forearm with his thumbnail, gritting his teeth as the pain washed over him, temporarily overtaking the bitterness.

 

But still, the bitterness remained. Slaine went over to his bed, curling up on it and beginning, for what must have been the millionth time since he was jailed, to cry. He hated feeling so weak, he hated feeling like he couldn’t survive without crying and releasing some of the pain. He knew, though, that the feelings were the truth - which made them all the more painful.

 

Slaine felt sleep begin to overtake him, and welcomed it. At least in his dreams he wouldn’t be in any pain, he thought.

 

How wrong he was.

 

###

 

Darkness was howling around him, lightning shocking him, and the voices of those he’d killed screamed of revenge and pain. Slaine began to scream as well, the pain too much for him to bear. As the lightning shackled him, and the darkness ripped his heart out, a genderless, powerful voice asked,

 

“Would you like another chance? Another life, in which to redeem yourself?”

 

“Yes! Please, anything better than this!” Slaine choked out.

 

“Very well, Slaine Troyard. Move forward, into Aldnoah.One!”

 

###

 

The Administrator sat back in their chair, wondering if they’d made the right decision.

 

“Was it not you who decreed that you would give him as many chances as it took for him to be redeemed?”

 

“I was, but I’m afraid he may never be redeemed. After all, in Aldnoah.Zero, he proved he would be self-righteous to the very end, until there was no way to hide from the truth anymore. He lacked the ability to see things from the perspective of those whose lives he was destroying. Although, near the end, he was seeing why Asseylum didn’t try to free him, so he might redeem himself this time. Or he might go all the way until Aldnoah.Ninety-Nine, and still not be redeemed.”

 

“Perhaps if you...”

 

“Yes, I’ve already made arrangements for that. He will have a companion this time - one that is better than Asseylum was in Aldnoah.Zero.”

 

“I see. Well then, Administrator, I bid you goodbye.”

  
“You as well, Lieutenant. Don’t overwork yourself.”


	2. Chapter 1: Awakening

Chapter 1: Awakening

 

Slaine woke to the beeping of a heart monitor, or at least what sounded like one. He wondered why there was a heart monitor in the prison, but that didn’t matter.

 

Only that it did, once he opened his eyes, sat up, and saw that he was most certainly _not_ in the prison, since his prison was underground. There was a window out to a city where the skyscrapers covered all land until a point, and then there was a forest surrounding it, with a few roads heading out. Slaine realized that it was near impossible for him to be on Earth, since all the major cities had been wiped out by the Orbital Knights in their crusade to dominate the planet. The problem was, Mars didn’t have forests.

 

_So where the hell am I?_ Slaine wondered. _Is this a dream?_ He glanced at a sign, and it read “Room 10D”. _Not a dream; I can read. But just to be sure..._ Slaine pinched his arm, and kept seeing the room and looking out the window. _What the hell is going on?_

 

"Doctor, he's awake!" a mildly deep voice called from the entryway, and Slaine turned as quickly as his aching body would allow to look at a man standing in the doorway, dressed in what Slaine assumed were hospital scrubs. Another man came rushing in, this one wearing a white labcoat. He had black hair and glasses, and was Asian. The newcomer went up to Slaine and asked,

 

"I'm Doctor Yagarai. Do you remember who you are?" Slaine said, as the other man walked out,

 

"Of course, I'm Slaine Troyard."

 

"Where do you live?"

 

"The UFE prison. I'm not sure why I'm here," he said. The doctor pinched the bridge of his nose, and asked,

 

"Who do you live with?"

 

"The prison guards." Slaine wondered what answer the doctor had expected.

 

"Do you have any family?"

 

"No, I just had my dad, but he died when I was eleven. I was adopted by another man, but he died in the war."

 

_Because of me,_ Slaine thought.

 

"I see. How old are you?"

 

"I'm nineteen." The doctor frowned, and asked,

 

"Can you look at your arms? Do they look like the arms of a nineteen-year-old?" Slaine looked at his arms, and frowned. They looked shorter and had less muscle on them than his arms should.

 

"No." Slaine wondered what exactly had happened to him. "Can you tell me where I am?"

 

"You're in the Unicorn District Hospital in the city of Mythos, Arcadia."

 

"What are the 'correct' answers to your questions?" Slaine asked, and Doctor Yagarai sighed.

 

"Your medical records state that you're fourteen, that you were born abroad, and were taken in by the Kaizuka siblings after a run-in with the military when you were eleven." Slaine's heart sank, and he asked,

 

"What are their names?"

 

"Their names are Yuki and Inaho -"

 

"No _fucking_ way do I live with that smug bastard that imprisoned me!" Slaine’s heartbeat sped up, reminded of the year of suffering he’d gone through because of Orange.

 

"Come again?"

 

"Kaizuka Inaho, that's his name, right?" Doctor Yagarai nodded, and Slaine's eyes blazed with hatred. "He's the one that put me in the UFE prison, instead of just killing me, like he should've! He has no sense of mercy - he just wanted to hurt me as much as possible! I am _not_ living with him!"

 

"You seem to be displaying symptoms of amnesia and confabulation, but I can say that you might regain your memories at some point in the future. I sincerely hope that you do, Slaine. Since you're awake, I think I should let the siblings in."

 

"Don't let that bastard in!" Slaine protested angrily. "He shouldn't be able to look at me without remorse!"

 

"He lives with you - he has a right to see you. I can tell him about your request, though it is up to him whether or not he does as you ask. Thank you for your patience with the questions."

 

" _Bye_." Slaine let the bitterness seep into his voice, and Doctor Yagarai got up and left, leaving Slaine alone in the room - the bright, sunlit room.

 

_Why do I live with Orange? Am I in a different universe, one where the war between Earth and Mars never happened? Maybe a universe where Earth and Mars never existed? I don't understand what's going on - why did this happen?_ Slaine suddenly remembered the dream he had before waking up. _Am I really in a new life, one where I haven't been locked up by Orange? Where I was never tortured by Count Cruhteo? Where I never met Princess Asseylum?_

 

_If I am, shouldn't I be thankful that I'm not in the prison anymore? But living with Orange seems like hell! I suppose I might not have a choice between the two, so maybe I should just make the most of it._

 

_That sounds_ way _too optimistic for me._

 

_I'm going to kill the bastard!_

 

"Slaine!" A female voice was calling him, and Slaine turned to see a woman with long black hair rushing into the room, smiling. "I'm so glad you're awake!"

 

"I suppose you're Yuki?" Slaine asked, and the smile vanished from Yuki's face.

 

"I know Doctor Yagarai said that you had amnesia, but I didn't know it was this bad. Slaine, do you really not remember me?" Slaine shook his head, saying,

 

"No, I don't remember you. I don't remember anyone I've met after I got up."

 

"Do you remember anyone?"

 

"I remember lots of people, only one of which seems to be in this world!"

 

"Come again?"

 

"I don't remember you, or the doctor, but I remember the war between Earth and Mars, and I remember the end of it, with that _bastard_ Orange not killing me, and imprisoning me for the rest of my life!"

 

"What're Earth, Mars, and Orange?"

 

"Earth and Mars are planets. Orange is a person - a terrible, merciless person!"

 

"Slaine, I'm so sorry this happened to you," Yuki said. "You're obviously in a lot of shock, which is to be expected after getting hit by the car, but it's so sad to see you like this. I hope you get better soon."

 

"Condescension won't help with that. Nothing will." Slaine slammed his fist against the bedframe. "I'm trapped in a world where I don't know anyone but my worst enemy, and I don't understand why! I thought I'd get another shot at my old life! I just wanted out! Why do I have to live with Orange? I don't understand!" Yuki looked somewhat confused.

 

"I'll tell Inaho to come in now, ok?"

 

"No! It's not ok! That bastard imprisoned me in the cage that was the UFE prison instead of giving me a swift death! I don't want to see him, ever again!" Yuki looked even more confused, and said,

 

"But he's your best friend. Why wouldn't you want to see him?"

 

"He's my _what_?" Slaine felt his face pale, and realized that this world was far from salvation.

 

"He's your best friend! You don't remember, do you? That's... terrible." Yuki looked on the verge on tears as she left the room, and Slaine realized that perhaps telling everyone that he hated Orange - Kaizuka Inaho - might be a bad idea.

 

_If nothing else, it'll make them sad, and why should I make life miserable for those that didn't hurt me?_

 

_Because they’re connected to Orange, and they deserve to be hurt!_

 

"Slaine? Can I come in?" Slaine froze, and realized that the voice was similar to Orange's.

 

"No, Orange! You made my life hell!" Slaine closed his eyes as tears began flowing out, but he heard footsteps towards him and the sound of a door closing.

 

"Bat." Somehow, for some reason, Slaine's heart both lifted and sank the moment he heard that word.

 

"Do you remember when you shot me down by Tanegashima, Orange?" Slaine demanded, opening his eyes to see a shorter version of Orange than he was used to. "Do you remember falling through the atmosphere with me? Do you remember not killing me and sending me to prison for life? Because if you do, you have a lot to answer for!"

 

"Bat, let me explain something. You have to pretend to know me and Yuki at some point, and everyone at military school." Slaine's heart skipped a beat. _Military school?_ "Even if you don't remember anyone, you can get to know them through your interactions with them now. Just pretend to recover sometime within the next six months, so that you can get your life back on track."

 

"I don't have to listen to you, Orange! _You're_ the one who -!"

 

"That's right. You don't. But I'm trying to make your life easier. We both got new chances at life, for no particular reason that I know of. But I think that we should make the most of it."

 

"Why should I trust you? You made the last year of my life hell!"

 

"No, I didn't. I made it possible for you to come to terms with the things you did. You might've, you might not've, but I made it possible for you to. There were no more courses of action other than imprisoning you for life or killing you. You decided that when you started your takeover of Earth. Now, though? This is a new chance at life, a new chance for you to become more than the Terran-turned-Martian boy who decided to try to take over Earth. You can decide whether to make the best of it."

 

"You should have killed me and been done with it!"

 

"I didn't want to take your life - or your chance to come to terms with what you did. That's the truth. You can take this olive branch, and try to move forward, or languish in bitterness forever. That is your choice. You don't have to make it now, but you'll have to eventually." Orange walked toward the door, and Slaine said,

 

"Why are you trying to be nice to me? You know it will never accomplish anything - not from you!" Orange turned around, looked at Slaine, and said,

 

"That's a secret I'm not willing to share yet." With that, he left the room, leaving the door open behind him.

 

_Bastard._


	3. Chapter 2: A Whole New World

Chapter 2: A Whole New World

Two days later, once the doctors had decided that he was to be discharged, Slaine was taken to the house that belonged to Yuki. After an uneventful train ride, they reached the two-story, light blue house. Yuki unlocked the door with a fingerprint scanner on the door, and walked in, Orange following her and Slaine following him.

_I can't believe I have to live with_ Orange _,_ Slaine thought. _After what he did, how can he look at me with a clear conscience?_

"Slaine, dinner will be in thirty minutes." Orange was mocking him with his mere presence, Slaine knew. "Your room is up the stairs, left and then the first door on the right."

"Oh, _thanks_ ," Slaine said sarcastically, and went up the stairs. Going into the room, he saw that it was light blue, like the outside of the house, in contrast with the off-white of the living room and kitchen. The sheets on the queen-size bed were light blue as well, and the comforter was the same color.

_Was I the one who chose the color?_ Slaine wondered. He took off his shoes and lay down on the bed, closing his eyes and putting his hands on the pillows, behind his head. Several questions came to mind as he tried to relax. _Why was I sent to this world? Why didn't I just get sent to Earth again, so I could change my actions so that Orange didn't imprison me?_

_Why do I have to live with Orange?_ That was the most prominent one. _Why is_ he _the only one who remembers Earth and Mars? Why couldn't it be Harklight or someone?_

_It might be worse, if it were any of the Martians,_ Slaine realized. _They would realize what I did and hate me for it, except for Harklight. Although, hate might be preferable to this fake amicability that Orange is giving me._

_Do I really go to military school? Why? What are the circumstances surrounding that? Does Orange go too? What about Yuki?_

_Who else from my old life is in this world, other than Orange? Is there anyone, or am I alone? Would it be better if I saw Harklight again, or would I feel too guilty for failing him, for failing everyone?_

_Is Princess Asseylum here in this world? Would I be able to see her if she is? Would she remember me at all? If she wouldn’t, then is there any point in trying to see her? She wouldn’t remember my betrayal, but she_ also _wouldn’t remember me at all, so would it be even worth a try?_

_Does Aldnoah exist here? Does it cause conflict, if it does, like between Earth and Mars? Are there even any wars here? I assume there are, since I go to a military school, but there might not be. Is Arcadia an aggressor, a defender, or a neutral nation?_

_There are so many things I don’t know about this place - how am I going to learn them without asking Orange for the answers? Yuki might be a reasonable choice, but she just thinks I’ll regain my memories of this place, whereas I don’t think I ever will, so I’m not sure she’ll tell me anything._

_That leaves exactly one person: Orange._

_Maybe I’ll dwell in ignorance for a bit longer._

###

“So, Slaine, what are you planning to get as your Aldnoah tomorrow?” Yuki asked as they were eating dinner that evening. Slaine almost dropped his fork in surprise.

“My what?”

“Your Aldnoah. You remember that at least, don’t you?”

“No, I don’t,” Slaine said, slowly resuming eating. _If she means what I think she means, then Aldnoah here is completely different than on Earth and Mars._

“Yuki, I think I should explain,” Orange said, and Slaine glanced over at him. He was pulling out a tablet, and entering some text with a stylus. He held it up to Slaine, and it had a few paragraphs on it, titled "Basic Aldnoah Series".

_"Aldnoah is the common term for both the abilities given by certain applications of nanotechnology and those compatible with said technology. The Basic Aldnoah Series, which is available to anyone compatible with Aldnoah nanotechnology, is limited in both scope and power. This is to not allow civilians weapon capabilities that could rival the military's. Basic Aldnoah Series include the Civilian Series, which includes, among others, the Civilian's Barrier, the Civilian's Limbs, and the Civilian's Eye."_

_"Other Basic Series include the Squire Series, the Farmer Series, and the Artisan Series. Note that those who get one of the Squire Series abilities implanted in them must sign up for the military reserves and complete six months of military training after the Aldnoah implant."_

_"There are other options for those joining the military as a career, which are called Advanced Aldnoah Options, that are not covered here..."_

"Aldnoah is implanted?" Slaine asked, and Orange nodded, pulling the tablet away and putting it back into his pocket.

"It was developed from the nanotechnology research of Dr. Rayregalia Rayvers, who died just recently. There were thirteen original series, five Basic, five Advanced, and three Royal. There are still only three Royal Series, but the Basic and Advanced Series have grown considerably."

_So, Emperor Rayregalia Vers Rayvers is in this world? Does he remember anything of his last life, I wonder?_

"What did you think Aldnoah was, Slaine?" Yuki asked, and Slaine said,

"I thought it was some sort of super-technology that could create great effects -"

"But that's what it is," Yuki said, a confused look on her face. "Some Aldnoah are so powerful that they can make people fly, or take all the heat away from something, or even see the future." Slaine's heart rose.

_Maybe I can get an Aldnoah like the Tharsis, and see the future -_

"Yuki, they make conjectures based on current information - they can't actually see the future," Orange pointed out.

_Damn it, Orange! Why do you have to crush all my dreams?_

"Anyways, I don't see how Aldnoah are different than what you thought they were," Yuki said.

"I don't know how to explain it," said Slaine, and then changed the subject. "How many people are Aldnoah compatible?"

"One percent," Orange said, and Slaine widened his eyes.

_That many? That's so many more than on Mars! There were maybe forty people who had the activation factor - and that's counting all the counts along with the royalty. That's effectively zero percent of the population, compared to an entire percentage point here - that's insane, that that many people have Aldnoah! Although, it isn't the same kind of Aldnoah, so I suppose it makes sense that it's different._

"I see." Slaine took a bite of food, and turned to look at Yuki. "Where do you work?"

"I'm a teacher at your and Nao's school," she said, adding, "I'm also part of the military, and you and Nao will be after tomorrow too!"

"What? So soon?" Slaine asked, shocked.

_I don't want to die so young!_

"It's not like you'll be sent to the front lines or anything, you'll just be enlisted."

"Will I ever have to go to the front lines?"

"Potentially, but rarely if you're really young. I'd say the youngest anyone has gotten sent to the front lines was eighteen, and they were an amazing tactician that was sorely needed. Robin White, I believe their name was."

"Ok, good," said Slaine, relieved.

_At least I know I won't die young now - well, not because of war._

"Slaine, what's your favorite animal?" Orange asked. Slaine answered without thinking.

"A bird," he said, before he realized he was making small talk with Orange, and he glared at him.

"Really? That's interesting," Orange replied, leaving Slaine perplexed as to the purpose of the question.

The rest of the meal passed in silence, and Slaine was walking to the stairs when Orange said,

"Slaine, I think you should come outside so we can talk. There's a place I know where we can watch the sunset - it's really pretty." Slaine glared at Orange, but thought,

_Maybe this is a chance to get some answers - if nothing else, I can berate him for not killing me when he should've._

" _Fine,_ " he said, turning to go to the door. Orange went out first, but Slaine followed behind and let the door shut behind him. He let Orange lead the way to a hill, where Slaine could see the setting sun, no longer obscured by the houses and trees. It was a beautiful orange - unlike the gaudy orange of Orange's old Kataphrakt.

Orange sat down on the grass, and Slaine followed suit, a comfortable distance away from him, both facing the sun.

"Why did you bring me out here, Orange?" Slaine asked.

"To see the sunset."

"That can't have been the only reason!"

"Correct. I brought you out here to ask you a few questions, and for you to ask me some questions."

"Why would I answer any questions from _you_?" Slaine said bitterly. " _You're_ the one who made my life a mess at the end."

"Then let's make a deal."

"A deal?" Slaine said without thinking.

"Correct. You ask me a question, I get to ask you one. We both have to answer truthfully, unless we don't want to answer, in which case the other gets to ask another question. Agreed?"

_I need information on this world, and the only person I'm going to get it from is probably Orange,_ Slaine thought, resigned. _I guess I can agree to it._

"I suppose."

"What's your first question?"

"Is Princess Asseylum in this universe?"

"Yes. She goes to military school, just like us, although she has a Royal Aldnoah, which means that we don't have classes together. She's also a year ahead of us."

"Your question?"

"What age were you in the old world when you came to this world?"

"Nineteen." Slaine took a breath. "Why did you imprison me instead of killing me?"

"I don't want to answer that question. What's another one?"

" _Fine_. What's military school like?"

"It's like regular school, but there's classes on physical fitness, tactics, and weapons training. You have friends there, or used to. You enjoy it, for the most part. The academic classes are annoying to you, but you do almost as well as I do in them." Slaine realized that there was no hubris in that statement; it was simply what Orange saw as truth.

_Not just what he sees as truth, but what_ is _the truth,_ a treacherous voice inside Slaine said.

"What would it take for us to be friends?" Orange asked, and Slaine laughed.

"You can't be serious."

"I am." Slaine felt a tug on his heart, and realized that his empathy was starting to kick in - for Orange.

_He wants to be friends with me, but I'm not letting him. Isn't that mean?_

_He made the last year of my life hell!_

_So? This is a new life! Shouldn't that mean a new start?_

_No! No! Stop! I don't want to feel like this!_

"I... I don't know," Slaine said shaking his head to clear it. "I don't know what it would take, since I _know_ I hate you, and I _want_ to keep hating you, but there's this part of me that _doesn't_ want to hate you, and why am I even opening up to you about this? I mean, I hate you! You made my life hell! Are you sorry for putting me in prison?"

"No, but I am sorry that you suffered in it," Orange said, looking directly at Slaine, who looked back, blinking away tears that _shouldn't have been there_. "I wish that there had been a different solution to the problem of where to put you. I tried to see if there were any Scandinavian-style prisons you could be put in, but none were isolated enough. People would try to come and kill you if they knew that you were alive and where you were. I couldn't have that."

 "But now, you're not in prison. You're in a world where only I know of the things you've done. And after four years of life after the war, I think I can forgive you for your part in it."

"Wait, how long have you been in this world?"

"Three years. I was nineteen when I left the old world. Unlike you, I remembered everything from both this life and the one before. I can forgive you for the countless deaths you caused, because I understand why you did it."

"I doubt it," Slaine muttered.

"I reviewed your case once I got high enough clearance," Orange said without missing a beat. "And I realized that you had a hard life previous to being a count. Count Cruhteo nearly killed you, according to eyewitness accounts, and Count Saazbaum, while kinder than Cruhteo, still made it to your advantage to fight Earth.

"After Count Saazbaum got killed, you became Count, and knew things could go one of two ways - you could try to take over Earth and become powerful, or you could not, and become powerless. Since there was no way you were going to become powerless, you opted to continue to take over Earth. Which, while it caused the deaths of many, wasn't as bad as the initial invasion. If you'd won, you'd have made Earth a much worse place, ruled by imperialism and enforced by technological superiority. If Asseylum had woken up and seen it, she would have been even more devastated than she was."

"In short, if your attempt had succeeded, it would have been disastrous, both for Asseylum and Earth. Maybe even for Mars too. But it didn't, and the winners - which I would classify the majority of the Martian populace as, in addition to the Terrans - punished those who started and perpetuated the war."

"And this justifies me being sent to prison for the rest of my life, engulfed in the knowledge that no one was my friend anymore?" Slaine asked angrily, glaring at Orange.

"Yes." Slaine stood up and yelled,

"You can't comprehend the suffering I've been through! You had it easy on Earth, but me? I was tortured by Count Cruhteo, my only salvation the memories of Princess Asseylum! I was looked upon with disdain by almost every Martian! There was no one _but her_ who thought that I was worth something!"

"So to prove that you were you decided to destroy lives on Earth?" Slaine knew it was just a question, not a judgement, but his mind went on the defensive anyway.

"What gives _you_ the right to judge _me_ , Orange?" Slaine shouted. "You, who doesn't have the faintest idea of what mercy means?"

"I would argue that I do," Orange said, infuriating calm echoing in his voice. "But I can't answer the logical question that follows that, so we'll assume that for now."

"I never wanted to see you again! Why did I have to? Is there no justice in the world?" Slaine clenched his fists, tears collecting in his eyes. "And to top it off, _you're_ the only one who can teach me about this world, since I'm blind to everything!"

"Justice is a human construct. The only justice is the justice that humans create themselves."

"I don't need your philosophical bullshit! Just tell me why I'm stuck here with you!"

"I don't know."

"Well, _you're_ a great help, aren't you?” Slaine turned around, clenching his fists tighter. “I hate you!" Slaine ran down the hill, away from Orange, away from his problem, away from his most hated foe.


	4. Chapter 3: Angel's Wings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this, don't forget to leave kudos or a comment (or both)!
> 
> Thanks!
> 
> Odium Dei

Chapter 3: Angel's Wings

 

Slaine stopped running about two minutes after he knew he was lost. The sun had almost set entirely, and he knew that he was running out of daylight. Slaine knew that he had two options: stay outside for the night - which was probably not a great idea, since it was getting cold - or go back to the house with Orange. 

He walked for another minute before his common sense won out over his emotions.

_Damn it all, why do I have to live with Orange? If he weren't the one that knew me, then I wouldn't be in this situation! Why did he have to remember me? Why couldn't it have been Harklight? Why couldn't no one have remembered me? Why couldn't... Why couldn't no one remember my failures? Orange knows what I did, how I failed humanity_ and _Princess Asseylum._

_But he said he forgives me for it -_

_He can't be telling the truth! I almost killed him and his friends! How could he_ forgive _me? How could_ anyone _forgive me? I don't_ deserve _to be forgiven! I failed Earth and Mars, Asseylum and Saazbaum, Harklight and myself! I destroyed countless lives, and for what? Nothing changed! And yet I got a second chance at my own life! I don't understand!_

_I don't deserve this second chance. I don't deserve anyone believing I'm a good person, because I'm not. I don't deserve even Orange's fake kindness - I should just be getting killed over and over again, in the ways that I caused so many others to._ Slaine scratched his thumbnail along his forearm, and clenched his teeth as it drew blood.

_That's going to be problematic when I go back to Orange's house,_ Slaine observed.

_I don't need to go back! I can just... I can just stay out here!_

_Who am I kidding? No matter how much I don't deserve this chance, I need to make the most of it. I can't just stay out; I need to go back to the house._

_Even if Orange is there?_

_Yes, even if Orange is there! He isn't that bad; I'm not in prison anymore, so I can forgive him!_

_I'm lying to myself._

"I can at least _tolerate_ him - I don't have to hate him! That will get me nowhere!"

"Do you mean that?" Slaine whirled around to look at Orange.

"Orange, what're you doing-"

"Looking for you. Yuki would be very distressed if you didn't come home - as would I."

"You? Distressed?" Slaine let out a short, unfeeling laugh. "The day I see you express an emotion is the day the world ends."

"I didn't say that I would express it, but that's irrelevant. Tomorrow is the day you select your Aldnoah and get it implanted. Therefore you need to sleep, since I understand that the recovery period that is usually about eight hours goes up to forty-eight hours if one doesn't get adequate sleep prior to the operation. Your compatibility tests have already been run, so they'll show you what Aldnoah you can and can't get."

"What Aldnoah are you getting?"

"I'm not going to tell you when you'll know by this time tomorrow regardless."

"What Aldnoah was I thinking of getting?"

"You never told anyone about what you wanted. You mentioned something about the Angel Series at one point, though I don't know if you changed your mind from then before you got hit by the car."

"How _did_ I get hit by a car?" Slaine asked.

"You were walking in the crosswalk back from military school, and a car didn't see you, because the sun was allegedly in their eyes. Then they hit you. It knocked you out of your shoes, in fact. However, your back didn't break because you had a jacket in your backpack, and it cushioned your landing."

"Lucky me," Slaine said.

"We should get going back to the house," said Orange. "Yuki might be worried."

" _Fine_ ," Slaine replied with a sigh. "But don't tell her that I ran off."

"Unless you do it again, I won't have to." Orange turned and then looked over his shoulder at Slaine. "Are you coming?"

"Yeah." Slaine followed Orange back to the house, and went up to his bathroom to take a shower.

_Can I_ really _tolerate him? He's the one who made my last life an unending hell -_

_Until it ended, and I got a second chance that I shouldn't mess up. Live and forgive, as I get forgiven. Orange - no, Inaho - already forgave me. Shouldn't I forgive him?_

_No! I can't forgive him - he put me in prison -_

_For crimes against humanity that I committed. I destroyed so many lives, and expect to get off scot-free? What am I thinking? Orange - Inaho - did what he had to, and then forgave me, even though I did so many terrible things -_

_He_ says _he forgave me,_ Slaine's vengeful side thought, seizing the opportunity. _How do I know he really did, and isn't just going to betray my trust in the end? I don't! I should never let my guard down, because there are things that no one can forgive, and my crimes are one of them! Orange's crimes against me are too! Forgiveness is only a trap that some people fall into, and then the masterminds take advantage of it! And if Orange isn't a mastermind, I don't know what he is!_

_I will never forgive - as long as I live, I shall never forgive. Not Orange's crimes against me, nor anyone else's. And above all, I won't forgive myself for making the mistakes that I made. Ever._

###

When Slaine woke up, he got dressed and did his morning routine, wondering what Aldnoah he was going to choose.

_What are the options? Orange mentioned something about the Angel Series, and Yuki said that it was possible for the Aldnoah to make people fly, so I wonder if there's an Angel Series Aldnoah that can make me fly. That would be beautiful. I'd be able to escape from whatever I wanted, to just feel the wind and air rushing past me - it'd be paradise. I could fly away from Orange and start a new life somewhere else._

_That sounds way too optimistic for me._

Slaine went downstairs, and having already eaten breakfast, went to the door to go for a walk. After putting his shoes on, he stepped out the door but his arm was grabbed by someone.

“Slaine, it’s time to go the Aldnoah Center,” Orange said. “Unless I’m mistaken, you don’t know the way to get there.”

“Don’t touch me!” Slaine pulled his arm away, glaring at Orange. “I didn’t know we were leaving this early!”

“I apologize. That’s my fault.” Orange motioned forward. “Yuki isn’t coming with us, so we should get going.”

“I know!” Slaine left the house, Orange following close behind.

“Would you prefer if I led the way?” Orange asked as they came to the end of the street.

“Do what you want,” Slaine muttered. Orange went in front of Slaine and took a left. Slaine reluctantly followed, as he knew he wouldn't be able to get his Aldnoah if he didn't go with Orange to the Aldnoah Center. Still, it was a trying ordeal.

_I can tolerate him, I can tolerate him..._ Slaine thought to himself, trying to make himself be alright with being around Orange. _What happened to my patience right before my shower last night?_

_It's probably gone. Forever._ He _was the one who imprisoned me,_ he _was the one who made my plans fail!_

_Isn't that a good thing, that I didn't win? Orange is right - it would have made Earth a worse place if I won, so isn't it good that I lost?_

_He still imprisoned me instead of killing me! He had no mercy -_

_But he said he forgave me! That means he has mercy!_

_Only if he's telling the truth!_

_There's no way to tell either way!_

_I just hope this trip goes by quickly._

_That sounds way too optimistic for me._

###

The trip did not go by quickly, as Orange kept asking Slaine questions about what kind of Aldnoah he wanted. Slaine kept his answers minimal and vague, not wanting Orange to have any influence on his choice. Meanwhile, Orange kept trying to pry information out of Slaine.

Once they arrived at the stop, Slaine and Orange went out of the station and down the sidewalk, with Orange leading the way. They walked about three blocks and then took a right, going down a lonely looking street with a two-story building at the end of it, and one story warehouses on either side. Orange led Slaine to the two-story building, which had a set of sliding doors as its only apparent entrance. Orange pressed his thumb over a scanner, saying,

"Kaizuka Inaho, here for Aldnoah implant. Other individuals in group, one." Orange motioned for Slaine to press his thumb against the scanner after he moved away, and Slaine did.

"Slaine Troyard, here for Aldnoah implant," said Slaine, and the sliding doors opened in front of them. Orange went in and Slaine followed, going into a small room with two elevators on one side and stairs going both up and down on another.

"The stairs go where we want to go," Orange said, and went towards them.

"Are we going up or down?" Slaine asked, and Orange replied,

"Down, to floor B-11. That's where the Aldnoah implant rooms are." Slaine proceeded to follow Orange down twenty-two flights of stairs, which got quite annoying after the fifth flight.

"Why don't the elevators go down to floor B-11?" Slaine whined.

"Because most people are lazy and expect that the elevators go everywhere, so in the event of a break-in, anyone breaking in would take the elevator and buy us additional time to get people to defend this place. They go down to floor B-10, though. They just don't go down to eleven."

"Then why didn't we take the elevator down to B-10, and then take the stairs the rest of the way?" Slaine demanded, and stopped walking down the stairs.

"Because exercise is good for you," Orange said, continuing down. "And the stairs are actually faster than the elevator, for precisely the same reason as why they don't go down to floor B-11. Aren't you coming?" Slaine groaned and kept going, until they reached B-11.

"My legs feel dead," Slaine said, taking a deep breath and letting it out.

"I forgot that you were in a coma for four days. I'm sorry, your leg muscles must have atrophied slightly," Orange said.

"I don't think that a four-day coma is enough to atrophy my muscles _that_ much," said Slaine. "Now where do we go?" There were four doors in the room they were in after coming onto floor B-11. One in front, and one to both the right and left, and the one they'd just come out of.

"Forward," Orange said, adding, "The other two are decoys." He went up to the door in front and pressed his thumb against it, saying, "Kaizuka Inaho and Slaine Troyard, here for Aldnoah implants." The door opened, and Orange stepped in, Slaine following after.

The door led to a white room, with large fluorescent-looking lights embedded in the ceiling. There were a few people in the room, aside from Orange and Slaine. A doctor-looking person in a white labcoat was relaxing in a comfy chair, while a receptionist waited at a counter. Two girls, one with black hair, the other with red hair, were sitting in chairs next to each other, talking quietly.

The black-haired one waved to Orange as the door shut, and he walked over to her. Slaine listened in half-interested to the ensuing conversation.

"Inaho, how're you? I haven't seen you since Slaine, you know, um..."

"I know. I'm doing fine, Inko," Orange said. "Slaine has amnesia, though, so he doesn't remember any of us. He's excited about getting Aldnoah, which is a good sign."

"Really? He has amnesia? That's... terrible!"

"And confabulation."

"Confabulotion? What's that?"

"Confabulation. He has memories that aren't real." Slaine stopped listening after that, as he knew that he would just get angrier the more he listened.

"Slaine Troyard," a nurse called from a doorway that presumably led into the actual Aldnoah implant rooms. Slaine got up and went over to the nurse, who was a head and a half taller than Slaine, male, and had brown hair. "You're Slaine Troyard, correct?" Slaine nodded. "Then follow me."

The nurse took Slaine through the door, which shut behind them, to a room that looked like an operating room with a wall-mounted tablet that read "Aldnoah Options".

"Please look through the options," the nurse said. "Once you've made a decision, please inform me as to what your choice is. I'll be waiting in the office just across the hall."

"Thanks," Slaine said. He walked over to the tablet and when it asked him for his name, he typed it in. After pressing enter, it took only a moment for the screen to display two categories - "Advanced" and "Basic". Slaine knew that anything he wasn't allowed to get was not going to be on the screen, so he tapped the "Advanced" button. It came up with several series, one of them being the Mage's Series. He tapped on it and saw its description.

_"The Mage's Series requires a physical implement as well as Aldnoah implantation in the body. If the physical implement is lost, then so are the powers. The powers available by programming the implement and implant are numerous, and depend on which implement is selected. The Mage's Wand allows for offensive actions, the Mage's Staff allows for defensive actions, and the Mage's Crystal allows for supportive actions. Unless one is compatible with the Mage's Heart, only one of these can be used, and thus many select the Mage's Wand, as it has the most offensive power."_

_Ok, I'm not compatible with the Mage's Heart, so I don't want to get any of the Mage's Series Aldnoah. Let's see... "Knight's Series, Aviator's Series, Bronze Series, Iron Series" - there's so many! How am I supposed to make a decision? Wait, is that "Angel's Series"? Let's see what that has._

_"The Angel's Series is one of the six Mythos Series, the others being the Griffin's, Unicorn's, Dragon's, Phoenix's, and Demon's Series. The Angel's Series has abilities inspired by myths of angels, including the ability to fly."_

_"Angel's Wings - wings of energy that give one flying abilities, as well as give off some light. Additional programming can be done to improve its abilities as well as some other effects."_

_"Angel's Sword - a sword of energy that can cut through most things. Dissolves when it meets a Demon's Sword, as does the Demon's Sword. Can be programmed to use more or less energy as circumstances demand, as well as achieve other effects."_

_"Angel's Light - one gains the power to shed light at will, as well as focus that light into beams that can burn hydrocarbons and other flammable things up. Can be programmed to use more or less energy as circumstances demand, as well as achieve other effects."_

_"Angel's Eyes - one can use these to see much further and in much brighter light than regular humans. No loss of sight in the near-dark is lost from previous eyes."_

_" **You cannot select this Aldnoah** : Angel's Heart - gain temporary effects from any one of the previous listed effects at any time. One can activate only one effect at a time, however much power is outputted."_

_Given all these, I think that I should take the Angel's Wings,_ Slaine thought. _After all, wouldn't it be great to be able to fly? I could fly away from anything, go anywhere - it'd be beautiful._

_That's too optimistic for me -_

_Not this time! If I get this, then I can fly! There's no reason not to get this! It will feel liberating once I get it!_

Slaine went across the hall and into the office, knocking on the door. The nurse looked up and asked,

"Did you make a decision?"

"Yes, I did. Angel's Wings."

"You're one of the few who is compatible with the Mythos Sub-Descriptor Series, so I suppose it's not surprising that you would choose one of them. Alright, let's get you to the operation room. You'll be under sedation, so there's nothing to fear."

"Alright, but how much does it hurt _after_ the operation?"

"Not excruciatingly painful, but it does hurt a bit for about eight hours - which we can't give you painkillers for, since they interfere with the nanomachines' initialization. I'm told it's generally a five out of ten in terms of pain, with ten being childbirth."

"I suppose I can live with that," Slaine said. "I'm willing to go through with about anything to be able to fly."

"Good. Maybe that will help while you're suffering." The nurse led him into a room and told him, "Lay down on the table on your chest, and change into this shirt. Not in that order." He tossed Slaine a light blue shirt with an opening in the back. "They'll need to have access to your back. I'll be here again in five minutes, be changed by then."

Slaine complied, and five minutes later, the nurse was back, along with several others.

"I'm Doctor James," a man said. "You'll be sedated soon, but I just wanted to confirm that your choice is the Angel's Wings, correct?"

"It is."

"Then you'll be sedated... Now." A nurse jabbed a needle into his arm, and Slaine felt it taking effect almost immediately. He felt sleepy, and then was out.

###

Slaine watched Inaho sit down in the corner as he looked at his tablet. Slaine walked over and asked,

"What are you looking at?"

"I'm looking at the requirements for the Aldnoah branch of the military," Inaho said.

"Why?"

"So that I can get an Aldnoah that I want."

"Which one?"

"The Eye of Analysis. It's only a prototype, but by the time I turn fourteen, it should be ready for anyone to have. So I'm looking now, to see if I can get into the Aldnoah branch of the military, because it's limited to military personnel only."

"Wow! That's cool!" Slaine said. "Could I join the military with you?"

"Yes, conceivably. You'd have to be tested to see if you're Aldnoah-compatible first. If you're not, then you could join one of the non-Aldnoah branches, and maybe we'd see each other sometimes. But if you are, then we could probably end up in the same squad, if we both wanted to."

"How do I get tested?" Slaine asked, frowning. "Does it hurt?"

"Only a little," Inaho said. "They have to draw a little of your blood, and then they test it. That's all there is to it, Bat."

"Bat? Where?" Slaine asked, looking around.

"Nowhere, I just thought I saw one." Inaho said. "I hope you're Aldnoah-compatible."

"Me too! I want to stay with you forever!" Slaine said, smiling.

"I do as well." Inaho turned back to his tablet, and read something. "It looks like you have to start going to military school once you turn thirteen, so in less than a year for both of us. We have to have good grades, and be Aldnoah-compatible."

"That's it? That sounds easy!" Slaine said.

"Yes, it does. Do you want to promise each other that we'll get into it, no matter what?" Inaho asked.

"Of course!" Slaine held out his pinkie, and Inaho linked it with his. "I promise to get into the military school, no matter what!" Inaho echoed Slaine's words, and Slaine smiled at Inaho, who nodded. Slaine smiled even wider, knowing that a nod from Inaho was the equivalent of a wide smile for him. He liked that Inaho was his friend.

###

"I got in!" Slaine cried, jumping up and down. "I got into the Mythos Aldnoah Military Academy!"

"You did? Here, let me see!" Yuki said, walking over to Slaine and looking at the acceptance letter. "You really did! Good job!" She ruffled Slaine's hair, and he blushed a little and smiled.

"Good job, Slaine," Inaho said, and Slaine asked,

"Did you get in?"

"Yes, I did. I'm hoping to be able to get the Eye of Analysis within two years. Have you given any thought as to what Aldnoah you want, Slaine?"

"Maybe something from the Angel's Series? I don't know."

"Inaho, he has about two years to figure it out! He doesn't need to know right now!" Yuki chided, and Inaho nodded.

"True, but he might find it helpful to focus on a goal."

Slaine liked that Inaho cared about helping him.

###

"Inaho, who are all these people?" Slaine asked uncertainly. "There's so many!"

"Admits to the Academy, most likely. This _is_ the opening ceremony, after all."

"But, there's so many that they're filling this whole auditorium! How are we going to compete with them?"

"It's not about competing, Slaine; it's about working together towards a common goal. Most of these people will be in the military with us someday, and we'll be working together to protect Arcadia."

"I guess that makes sense," said Slaine. "But there's still a lot of them!"

"This is the biggest Aldnoah Military Academy, so it makes sense that there's a lot of people."

Slaine took comfort in Inaho being with him.

###

"Inaho, do I bother you?" Slaine asked.

"What do you mean?" Inaho asked, not looking up from his tablet.

"I mean, am I annoying to you?"

"What gives you that idea?"

"You're always looking at your tablet unless I'm talking to you, or someone else is. I guess I just thought you might prefer being by yourself all the time, and that I'm just an annoyance," said Slaine. Inaho looked up from his tablet and at Slaine, and said,

"Just because I'm on my tablet a lot doesn't mean I dislike other things. I prefer being around you to being on my tablet, but sometimes you don't talk, and I get lost in learning about other things. In short, you're not an annoyance to me, Slaine. You're my best friend."

"Really?" Slaine asked, eyes wide.

"Really." Inaho nodded at Slaine, who smiled wide and was glad that he had a friend like Inaho.

###

Slaine woke up breathing heavily, remembering his life with Inaho in this world, and tried to make sense of it all.

_I was friends with Inaho! I was his best friend, and he was mine! Why can't I just get along with him like I used to?_

_Orange put me in the prison! He trapped me there, like an animal!_

_But Inaho said he forgave me, shouldn't I forgive him too?_

_Orange has no mercy, so he shouldn't have any shown to him!_

_But I... Inaho was my best friend!_

_Orange is my worst enemy!_

_We promised to get into military school together, and we did! Imagine how he feels, now that I've told him that I hate him! And we used to be best friends!_

_That was in the past, but my hate for him is now -_

_It doesn't have to be, because the events that led to me hating him are also in the past!_

_Inaho is my best friend!_

_Orange is my worst enemy!_

_I don't know what I should do! What the actual hell is this feeling? This indecision, this conflict inside - I don't understand! I want him here and I want him far away! I want him dead and I want him alive!_

"AARGH!"


	5. Chapter 4: Angel's Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! Last time it was a longer chapter, but this time it's short. Sorry about that, but I think it's going the way it's supposed to.
> 
> Odium Dei

Chapter 4: Angel's Tears

Slaine was escorted out to the waiting room, where he knew Inaho/Orange would be. He still felt extremely strange, because of his new memories of Inaho.

_I don't understand, should I hate him or be friends with him? He was my friend, and knew that I would eventually remember the life before this, the one with Earth and Mars, as evidenced by his calling me 'Bat'._

_But he was the one who put me in prison! He -_

_But he was my best friend! Better than even Princess Asseylum was, because even though he doesn't smile, he knows me better than she did!_ And _he didn't abandon me in this life, like she did in the last!_

_But he made my plans collapse around me! He was the one who stole my power!_

_Why did I need power? What was I trying to change? I was trying to make the world worse, and for what?_

_But he has no mercy!_

_But he was merciful and brought me into his house, and I repay him by hating him? That hardly seems right -_

_There are wrongs that can never be undone!_

_Yes, but what Inaho did wasn't one of them!_

_Yes it was! Orange is evil and merciless!_

_Inaho is a great friend!_

_Orange is my worst enemy!_

The argument in Slaine's head went downhill extremely quickly, and he was clutching his head by the time he got out to the waiting room.

"Slaine, are you alright?" one of the girls he'd seen in the waiting room before - Inko, he now remembered - asked. "Did you hit your head?"

"No, I'm just having a really bad headache," Slaine lied. Then, attempting to preserve her perception of his amnesia, he asked, "What's your name?"

"Oh, I'm Amifumi Inko. It feels weird introducing myself to you, since I already know you, Slaine."

"Well, Inko, do you know where Inaho is?"

"I'm over here," Inaho/Orange said from a chair in the room, raising his hand as Slaine looked over at him. "What did you get, Slaine?"

"I'll tell you once we get out of here." Inaho nodded, and for an instant, Slaine felt the same way he knew he felt in his memories - the urge to smile, which then turned to hatred for Orange. The contradiction hurt his head even more. Inaho/Orange got up and walked towards the door, saying,

"Goodbye, Inko, Rayet."

"Bye Inaho! Have a safe trip! You too, Slaine!" Inko said.

"Bye," Rayet, the red-haired girl, said.

"Bye," Slaine said as he walked after Inaho/Orange. As the doors shut behind them, and Inaho walked to the stairs, Slaine told him, "I have something important to tell you when we get back to the house."

"Ok." Inaho/Orange continued up the stairs, and Slaine followed. Once he got to the train stop nearest to his and Inaho/Orange's house, Slaine walked back to it and said, on the way,

"I want to talk to you in my room, ok?"

"Sounds fine, but are you sure you wouldn't want to go to the hill we went last time?"

"I'd rather be in my room."

"Alright." They entered the house, took off their shoes, and went up the stairs to Slaine's room. Once both were in, Slaine shut the door.

"After I woke up, or maybe while I was under sedation, I regained my memories of this world," said Slaine, and he saw a spark of something he never expected to see in Inaho's eyes: hope. Slaine took a deep breath, and continued. "I remember that we were best friends, and that we vowed to get into military school together."

"But I also remember that you put me in prison, and made me despair and feel powerless." Slaine looked at Orange, his own hard eyes meeting two red ones. "I remember that you made my plans crash and burn, but I realize why you did it."

"And that's why I don't know what to think anymore," said Slaine. "I don't know whether to hate you or be your friend, to stay here or run away, to kill you or be close to you. So, I've had to come to a conclusion."

"That conclusion is that I need to not see you for a while, so that I can get my feelings in order. I want to move out, Inaho. Is there a place where I could stay at the Military Academy?"

"How long is a while, Slaine?" Inaho asked.

"I don't know. Three months, two years, I don't know. But I might want to see you again eventually."

"A sliver of hope is better than no hope at all. There is a dormitory there, and they have a different class than your current one, which is mine. It's also a boarding school. So you shouldn't be surprised. I just have two requests before you leave."

"What are they?"

"See me at least one more time in this world, and tell me that you never want to see me again if that's the case. If you do want to see me, just ask anyone from the faculty where I am living or where I'm learning. I want closure before I graduate from MAMA."

"And the second request?"

"Tell me what your Aldnoah you got is."

"Alright, I agree to these terms. My Aldnoah is the Angel's Wings."

"There was a good chance of you picking that. Are you happy with your choice?"

"Yes, at least I will be by the time I get to program it first. What was your Aldnoah?"

"The Eye of Analysis. I assume you remember me talking about it?" Slaine nodded. "Good. I'll convince Yuki to let you go. She won't be happy, but I can convince her. You'll be living at the MAMA dorms within the week." Inaho got up and went to the door, opening it and about to step out when he said, "Oh, and Slaine? You really are an angel. Don't forget that." With that, Inaho left the room, leaving Slaine with his head in his hands.

_What have I just given up?_

###

After programming his Aldnoah for the first time, Slaine went outside and said, in a voice quivering with excitement,

"Angel's Wings, activate!" Slaine felt a small amount of pain from his shoulder blades, but then looked behind him and saw pure white energy starting from his shoulder blades and going out in a six foot wingspan. "Alright, let's do this!" Slaine jumped up and willed his wings to carry him up into the air. They did, but they he hovered about seven feet above, and discovered that he could fly forward and turn, but couldn't go backwards.

_I'll have to program that in, I guess,_ he thought. _But hey, I can_ fly _, without a jetpack or airplane carrying me! That's so amazing!_ Slaine flew off in the direction of the hill Inaho/Orange had shown him, laughing with glee as he felt the wind rush past his face, the acceleration taking only a little out of him.

_I wonder if I could jump up high by jumping off a wall with this momentum,_ Slaine thought. _I'll try it!_ He flew up against a brick wall, and pushed off of it with his legs, trying to go up - and he got about five more feet before he fell back down to the seven foot above ground height.

Slaine continued flying until he reached the hill, and found that he stayed at a constant seven feet above the ground, even as he flew over it.

_I should add something into the code to make it possible to land better, as well as increase and decrease height. But for now, I need to get down, so I'll land against the hill. If I time this right, I can land on my feet and not get hurt._ Slaine went back above the sidewalk, and then flew to the hill, saying,

"Angel's Wings, deactivate!" Slaine landed perfectly as his wings vanished and he got on the hill.

_That was amazing! I should tell Inaho about this -_

_I'm leaving him, aren't I? I don't have a right to tell him anything that I think is cool. I abandoned him, just because I thought_ I _needed some time away, but why didn't I think of him?_

_I shouldn't think like that, I can always return to him once I've ironed out my feelings._

_He might not want me back, then,_ a pessimistic voice said. _I might just be too much pain for him, and he might not want to see me again._

_I hate him anyway! It's not like I care!_ Slaine felt rising pressure in his head, and felt tears forcing their ways out.

"You know, Inaho," Slaine said, talking to himself in between fits of tears. "If I'm an angel, does that mean that my tears are angel's tears? Because I know angels are supposed to heal things with their tears, but it looks like mine just hurt people. I mean, they don't hurt others directly, but I hurt people and then cry. I don't think I'm an angel, Inaho, no matter my Aldnoah - I'm a demon, someone who kills and destroys and doesn't know how to create. And who doesn't know how to forgive."


	6. Interlude 1: Slaine's Diary Entries

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone did fanart of this (thank you so much, Iinkyl) and motivated me to start writing for it again. It was amazing, you can look in the comments of Chapter 5 (chapter 4 by my standard, but ao3 doesn't do interludes or prologues very well) to see it on their Tumblr. This is a short interlude, but I have another chapter in the works. Thank you all for reading!

Interlude 1: Slaine’s Diary Entries

_5th_ _Day since Awakening - 19th of Month 13, 2187 A.E._

_ Today I moved into the boarding section of the academy, and got transferred out of the class I was in. It helps that I'm meeting new people, instead of having to relive the pain of seeing Inaho every day. I've been given an excused absence for getting hit by the car, so I don't have any assignments for tonight.  _

_ I wish that I didn't have these conflicting feelings about Orange. They're irritating - I wish I could just go one way or the other, instead of constantly arguing over it in my head. It gets tiring.  _

_ It's late, so I'm going to end this entry. Good night. _

 

_ 7th Day since Awakening - 21st of Month 13, 2187 A.E. _

_ I'm doing badly with my assignments - I'm not keeping up. Hopefully by the weekend I'll be able to catch up, but if not, I'm screwed. I don't think anyone else is doing as badly as I am.  _

_ I hope Inaho is doing well, where he is. No! I hate him - he locked me in the UFE prison - I don’t even know anymore.  _

_ I got to practice with my Angel’s Wings today, on a lighter note. It was fun, but I almost crashed into a hill because of something I programmed wrong. Orange knows how to program, I’m sure, but he’s not here, is he? I’ll have to figure things out without him.  _

_ I’m really tired, so I’m going to bed. Good night. _

 

_ 10th Day since Awakening - 24th of Month 13, 2187 A.E. _

_ I’ve been so exhausted these past few days, with homework and schoolwork and training - I’m not sure I’ll be able to keep up. I finished a bunch today, but I’m still a little behind - I'll have to get better and work hard if I'm going to stay in this academy. Inaho might be able to help me if I asked him - no, I hate Orange! I can't go to him! I'll have to manage on my own.  _

_ I'm going out for a fly - I fixed the bugs in my code from what I programmed last time, so I'll be able to do that now. I need the exercise and stress relief. Otherwise I'll go insane, with just training, school, and other stuff not for fun. Good night, I guess. _

 

_ 21st Day since Awakening - 5th of Month 1, 2188 A.E. _

_ I've been so busy with school that I've forgotten to write here. Nothing much has happened, except that I haven't made any friends yet. That's less of something that happened and more of something that didn't, but whatever. I've also programmed my Aldnoah to fly better and compensate for additional weight, so now I fly to school with my backpack on, sometimes. _

_ I miss Inaho, but I can't bring myself to face him. I left him, and I can't just come crying back to him.  _

 

_ 22nd Day since Awakening - 6th of Month 1, 2188 A.E. _

_ I saw Inaho walk past today. The emotions I felt were so conflicted that I ran away and cried; I just don’t know what to feel for him anymore. I just want to know which cruel god decided to make me have two sets of memories - one that hates him and one that loves him. I just wish that everything would be resolved somehow - but I don’t see how that can happen.  _

_ Part of me wanted to go and embrace him, beg forgiveness, anything, and the other wanted to pull out a pistol and shoot him in the head. I can’t live with that - I need to side one way or the other, against Orange or with Inaho. But which one? I hate him and love him - it’s not something I can just decide. _

 

_ 30th Day since Awakening - 14th of Month 1, 2188 A.E. _

_ If I were a dead forest _

_ You would be the fire _

_ And if my life was a living hell _

_ You would be salvation _

_ You’d burn through my pain and sin _

_ And replace it with some more _

_ You’d destroy all the hurt and tears _

_ And scatter the ashes of war _

_ All the conflict, all the pain - _

_ All the joy, all the rain _

_ Will unite within my shame _

_ And destroy me all the same _

_ While I am the sinner _

_ You are the saint _

_ Sent from heaven to save _

_ My soul without complaint _

_ But all these sins within me _

_ Can’t be washed away _

_ So I’ll just keep them in me _

_ For yet another day _

_ My salvation is a blue rose _

_ Fraught with peril and pain _

_ Nothing, no one, not even you _

_ Can remove this terrible stain _

_ And even though you tried so hard _

_ I never reached out my hand _

_ Never, ever giving you the chance _

_ To lead to the Promised Land. _


	7. Chapter 5: What is a Friend?

###  Chapter 5: What is a Friend?

Slaine woke up on the first of Month 2, 2188 A.E. with a terrible feeling in his chest.

_ What is this? It’s like longing for something... But for what? What am I longing for? _

_ Probably friends, honestly, _ Slaine thought bitterly.  _ I don't have any in my class right now, and since I stopped talking to Inaho, there's no one outside of class who’s my friend either.  _

_ I mean, who’d want to be friends with an overly emotional boy with no good qualities besides an Aldnoah? There's no reason at all - _

_ I need to get ready for school. Maybe today I’ll make some friends. Ha. _

Slaine wiped the wetness from his eyes that he hadn't noticed and began to get ready for school. 

###

_ I don't know how to make friends.  _ That was Slaine’s conclusion as he walked to his third class.  _ I have no fucking clue.  _

_ How can you make friends when you’re basically a slave?  _ he justified.  _ And you can't make friends when you’re a count - that just can't happen. Didn't I have friends back on Earth before I came to Vers? Yes. But they were elementary schoolers - they weren't good at all.  _

_ So am I going to try at lunch or not? It might be the best time to try, but maybe I'll just get humiliated.  _

_ I have to try, though - if I don't, I'll just be stuck in this state of mind forever. And I don't want that. _

_ So I’ll find some people at lunch, and try and talk to them. Sounds like a plan, I guess. _

###

“Hey, can I sit with you guys?” Slaine asked a group of students sitting on the roof. It was composed of a girl with long blonde hair, a boy with short black hair, a boy with long black hair, and a girl with long brown hair. 

“Uh, who’re you?” the boy with short hair asked. 

“I’m, um, Slaine Troyard,” Slaine said. 

“Why do you want to sit with us?” the same boy asked. “Don't you have friends?”

“I just transferred into this class,” Slaine said. “So no.”

“Zach, let him sit with us,” the blonde girl said. “He’s just lonely.”

“Why’d he wait so long after transferring before trying to make friends, then?” the boy argued. “He probably just doesn’t have any social skills!”

“ _ Zach _ ! You can't just  _ say  _ stuff like that!” the blonde said, shocked. Slaine sensed that he wasn't wanted, but decided he’d wait and see the boy’s reaction. 

“Yeah I can - it’s totally true, too! Look at his face, it’s red!” Slaine felt the heat in his cheeks, bit his lip, and, with a tear in his eye, turned away, thinking,

_ I just don't know how. _

###

“Slaine, I’d like to apologize for Zach,” the blonde girl said as Slaine was getting up from his desk. “I’m Kristy Owens, and he’s just not very nice.”

“No, it’s fine,” Slaine said with a sigh. “I don't blame you - or him.”

“What do you mean?” Kristy asked, eyebrows raised. “Why wouldn't you blame him for his behavior?” 

“Well, he’s right, isn't he? I don't have social skills, and I waited too long before trying to make friends. He’s not lying when he says stuff like that.”

“Yes, but that doesn't make it  _ alright  _ for him to say!” Kristy exclaimed. “It’s mean!”

“Believe me, I’m more than used to true sadism - just ‘mean’ is nothing anymore. Good afternoon.” Slaine got up, picked up his bag, and walked out, trying not to cry.

_ I know they're all correct - that's why I can't get upset at him for telling the truth.  _

_ But damn it, don't I wish it wasn't? _

###

Slaine walked into class the next day and saw that Kristy wasn't there, and neither was Zach. 

_ Interesting, that they're both not here. Are they ditching together? Ditch-dating? I don't know what their relationship is, but it’s curious that they’re both not here. _

“Alright, today I'll be teaching you all about the current geopolitical situation that the System is in. First of all, I hope you all know that we live on Erys, the second planet colonized by humans.”

“The first planet, or original planet, Venche, was effectively destroyed about a century ago by a meteor crashing into a supervolcano, causing a catastrophic disaster that killed most on the planet in a matter of hours, and the ones remaining had no food going forward. No one lives there anymore, so that's out of the picture.”

“The third planet, Frei, is somewhat less hospitable to humans than Erys, but still works fairly well. There is slightly more unrest, but the governments there have it mostly under control. The United Federation of Erys and Freian Council are, while not friendly, not adversaries either.”

“The fourth planet and beyond are known as the less-developed planets, mainly because their terraforming is not quite done yet. The estimated remaining amount of time required to get to a T-2.5 planet ranges from a quarter of a century for the fourth planet to a couple centuries for the seventh.”

“Now, Erys is home to three major nations: Arcadia, our own; Madoa, the democracy; and Ylventine, the monarchy. All are relatively stable, except Madoa, which has some unrest every five years when they elect a new leader. But, even Madoa is stable compared to any nation on the outer planets. Arcadia and Ylventine work closely to make certain that nothing unexpected happens in Madoa, since a change of power can happen fairly quickly, in the space of a decade.”

“Thankfully, Madoa is currently in the center of the road, with a set of policies remarkably similar to Arcadia’s and Ylventine’s. But, since power can go to anyone that the people choose, it is always an unknown every five years whether a populist candidate will win or whether the policies that are working well for it are going to stay.”

“Frei’s nations are much more in number and diverse in systems. They have an unbelievable number of different kinds of government, ranging from totalitarian dictatorships to pure democracies to meritocratic republics, and everything in between.”

“Most are doing well, although those that are heavily reliant on natural resource extraction for jobs are going through some unrest. The unprecedented amount of resource extraction work that can be done by automation is good for everyone - because it means more resources for everyone. The people that had those jobs simply need to have access to education that will allow them to have human capital jobs, as opposed to resource jobs.”

“The fourth planet and beyond are heavily reliant on resource extraction as well, and the machinery has not made its way as far into those places as it could. Which may be good, at least for a small period of time.”

“So, Ms. Senesca, who are Arcadia’s enemies?” one student asked.

“Arcadia’s enemies are those that want chaos - terrorists, revolutionaries, radicals - which includes nations. One nation on Frei has been caught trying to hack the Aldnoah Distribution System that is a large part of Arcadia’s - as well as Ylventine's - security and technological advantage. They didn't get anything, but they have been developing technology strikingly similar to Aldnoah, according to reports. The name of this nation is the Freian New Republic, and they are recognized by the UFE and Freian Council as a terrorist state.”

“They have sanctioned several bombings in nations on Frei, creating unrest, as well as supported criminals on Erys that have tried to destabilize the various nations. Ylventine in particular has been the focus of many attacks, leading us to believe they are trying to make a revolution happen there.”

“Aren't revolutions impossible on inner planets?” another student asked. “Because, you know, they've provided all basic needs for all their citizens.”

“Not impossible. Extremely unlikely, at this point, but if an incident like the 2150 Massacre happens again, it’s possible.” Slaine listened intently to the teacher for the rest of the lecture, taking notes and lamenting that he couldn't write fast enough.

_ This is interesting - I wonder why I wasn't taught this before. _

###

“Slaine, I’d like to apologize,” Zach said, catching Slaine’s arm and pulling him towards him. “I was... Rude to you.”

“Yeah, so? You weren't wrong: I don't have social skills or any friends, even though I've been here for over a month.”

“See? I told you so - he’s just like you were,” Kristy said, coming out from behind a pillar. “Do you really want to be the one who ruined someone that could be you three years ago’s chances at ever having friends?”

“I...” Zach seemed to be at a loss for words. “Don't.”

“Good, then Slaine? Please sit at lunch with us tomorrow.”

“Um, ok,” he said, and Kristy nodded. 

“Good.”

###

_ I got through the day without thinking about Inaho,  _ Slaine thought in relief.  _ I actually got work done - how surprising.  _

_ But now I have to sit with  _ them _ at lunch tomorrow - even after Zach basically eviscerated me. I mean, he apologized, but still... _

_ It could be worse - after all, I don't know them very well, so maybe they’re a nice group of people. _

_ I hope they are, at least. _

_ ### _

_ Slaine was in a room with dark walls and no light. He pounded on the walls, but they didn't budge.  _

_ “Help!” he cried. “Get me out of here!” _

_ “Open your eyes,” a disembodied voice said. _

“What do you mean?” Slaine mumbled as he woke up. “They’re already open...”

Slaine’s alarm rang, and he slammed a palm down on it. 

_ I need to get to school early today - There was an announcement about an assembly or something today, so I want to get there early so I can not have to be in the back. _

Slaine got ready, grabbed his backpack, and, after making sure he had his dorm card, went out of his dorm and started walking to the school building. 

“Angel’s Wings, activate!” he said on a whim, and felt them sprout out of him. He began to fly much faster than he could ever hope to run, and zoomed past the trees and people, making sure to dodge everything. At the gate, he deactivated them, and dropped to the ground. 

_ I love flying! It’s so amazing! Aldnoah is beautiful! _

Slaine acknowledged the rush of endorphins he was getting and tried to calm down as he went inside the school, as well as readjust to walking. 

As he went inside the classroom, he saw Zach sitting by the window and looking out it, appearing deep in thought. Slaine put him out of his mind, and began taking notes when the teacher started lecturing.

_ I’ll sit with them at lunch - what do I have to lose?  _

###

Slaine walked up to the roof with his lunch and saw the group of people he’d asked to sit with the other day sitting in the same place. He walked up to them uncertainly, stopping about five feet away. Kristy looked at him and said,

“Oh, you’re here. Sit down.”

“Um, ok.” Slaine sat in the open space between Kristy and the boy that wasn’t Zach. 

“We were just talking about how Arcadia announced they were lowering the minimum age for service in the military,” Kristy said. “It’s really weird how they’re doing that when we’re not at war.”

“Lowering it to 15? They’ve had it at 16 since Venche exploded, and now they change it?” Zach said, shaking his head. “That’s just plain weird. Hey, Slaine, are you 15 yet?”

“Uh...” Slaine said, frantically trying to remember his birthday in this world. “No, I’m still 14.”

“When’s your birthday?”

“The 4th of Month 3,” Slaine said, thankfully remembering what the Kaizukas had told him before he left. 

“You’ve only got 50 days left, then,” the boy with long hair said. “Oh, I’m Sroel Dash. You’ve met Zach and Kristy, and this is Belle.” He motioned at the girl who wasn’t Kristy. She waved shyly, and Slaine inclined his head.

“Nice to meet both of you.”

“Yeah, nice to meet you too.” Sroel said, and gave a quick glance at Zach. “We’re not all as mean as Zach, just to let you know.”

“Hey!” Zach said, outraged. “That was uncalled for!”

“So were your comments yesterday to him. At least you apologized, but still...”

“Both of you, shut up. It’s been dealt with.” Kristy’s voice was firm. “Let’s hope there isn’t a war anytime soon, because that would mean most of us would have to serve.”

“Who can attack us? We’re  _ Arcadia _ ,” Zach said. “We’re the most powerful nation on the most powerful planet in the System!”

“Doesn’t mean we can’t be attacked,” Slaine muttured. 

_ And it doesn’t mean that we can’t be defeated either, as exemplified by how the Terrans beat us, _ he thought.  _ Superior in theory doesn't always mean superior in practice.  _

“True,” Kristy said. “But even if we can be, it’s really unlikely. They don’t have Aldnoah, so how could they stand against us?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, finally a chapter proper after this fic went dead! (Sorry about that, by the way) If you enjoyed this, please subscribe, leave kudos, and comment! Also, if you're into Harry Potter fanfic, I have a WIP series on here, so be sure to check that out too! Thank you all so much!


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